Slap Alex?

A Parenting Plot Twist

Yesterday, I went to pick up my son from daycare, and as usual, one of the kids ran up to me to show off something in his hand — this time, it was a monster truck.

My son noticed it was that kid — the same one who’s bitten him twice this school year. So what does my child do? He charges over and declares, loud and proud:

“Slap Alex!”

Y’all.

I was feet away from the teacher, the kids were right in front of me, and in my head I’m screaming: We don’t advertise our revenge plans like this!
😅

Out loud, I gave the official grown-up response: “No, we don’t slap,” and kept it moving.

But I knew that answer wasn’t really satisfying — not to him, and honestly not even to me. I was trying to avoid the judgment, keep the peace, be “mature”… and in the process, I left my kid hanging. He didn’t get affirmed, even though I knew what he meant.

So he waited.
He held onto that moment until we got home.

As soon as we walked through the door, he turned to his dad and said:

“Slap Alex. Keep your mouth to yourself!”

And his daddy?
“That’s right,” he replied, without hesitation.

Parenting is full of moments like this — where you freeze, downplay, second-guess, and then realize later that you could’ve done better.

I wasn’t mad at my son. I wasn’t even mad at what he said — especially given the context. I want him to protect himself; my only caveat is that we don’t slap unless it’s in response to being physically hurt, not just bruised feelings.

I don’t want him in school Will Smithing folks all willy-nilly. I want him to learn the difference between self-defense, revenge, and bullying — which means teaching boundaries and appropriate responses to stimulus.

Because what we’re not going to be is someone’s midday snack or punching bag.

But my baby? He understood the assignment.

Even when mama fumbled the response, he knew what was up.
And honestly? I’m not mad at that.